


The Very Last Radio Show

by morelikeassassin



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Interview Transcript, Very tame body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 10:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21318793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morelikeassassin/pseuds/morelikeassassin
Summary: Georgie and Melanie host a radio show together. Tonight, they have a guest star.
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Original wlw Characters
Comments: 9
Kudos: 72





	The Very Last Radio Show

**Author's Note:**

> _Psst, if you have an idea for someone you'd want to see them interview, I'd like an excuse to write more of this. _

_ Interview with Kelly Green, avatar of the Flesh. _

**Georgie** : And welcome back, listeners! As promised before the break, we're moving on to our weekly interview segment: Where are you now?

**Melanie** : We're joined by this week's guest, Kelly Green, live in the studio with us tonight. Welcome to the show, Kelly.

**Kelly** : Hi Melanie, Georgie. Great to be here, I'm a big fan. Huge fan.

**Georgie** : Why don't you tell us a bit about yourself for the listeners?

**Kelly** : So! I am with the Flesh, I transitioned right when the Eye came through, like a lot of people did. I was already well on my way by that point. I used to be a beauty vlogger, I'd just been researching for my Halloween special right around then. Practically napping in a takeaway box when the Flesh came to collect.

**Georgie** : Classic. That's a good lead-in for our first question, which is something we ask all our guests. Where were you when the world ended?

**Kelly** : I ah, I was walking my dog. I'd spent the whole morning sifting through Pinterest for monster prosthetics, and I wanted to clear my head. None of them really did the trick for me. They weren't realistic enough.

**Melanie** : I think I see where this is going.

**Kelly** : Right, right! So I caught my reflection in this big shop window, and I couldn’t stop staring at it. I kept thinking, what if I just did the whole thing with my hands? Next thing I remember, I'm covered in blood and I've got two extra mouths.

**Georgie** : Something I'm sure a lot of our listeners can relate to.

**Kelly** : Naturally.

**Melanie** : Is your dog okay?

**Kelly** : Erhm, I'm not sure. She ran off into the Vast a few days later. Sort of gives a new meaning to the whole "great doghouse in the sky" euphemism, doesn't it?

**Georgie** : Well, I’ll bet she's doing just fine up there.

**Kelly** : That's nice of you to say. If anyone sees a miniature greyhound floating around, give her my best.

**Georgie** : Now, you've been doing pretty well for yourself, that's the impression I got when we were setting up this interview.

**Kelly** : Oh, yeah! I mean, it's had its rough spots, just like anything else. I miss Starbucks. Hard to find my favorite shampoo, nowadays. But it's been good, mostly. You know, it's kind of a relief to be able to take walks at night now that I'm one of the scarier things in the neighborhood.

**Georgie** : Heh, I’m sure. What are some tips you can give our listeners for making the best of the apocalypse?

**Kelly** : Buddy system. Hands-down. If you do any one thing, find a friend and stick with them. My life got so much better when I met my girlfriend.

**Melanie** : Cheers, mate! That's just how it is with girlfriends.

**Georgie** : Auwww, love.

**Kelly** : It's true though! I feel safer, I'm happier, more fulfilled, all that. She was really interested in my patron, and sharing that with someone is just so meaningful, not to mention learning how it crosses over with hers.

**Melanie** : Can I ask what she's with?

**Kelly** : Oh, she's a hunter.

**Georgie** : Very exciting!

**Kelly** : Funny story, really. When we first met, she was trying to rip me limb from limb, but I could tell just by looking at her that she was smitten with what I'd done with my teeth.

**Georgie** : You certainly do have a lot of them.

**Kelly** : Thanks! You should see hers, she's a real artist about the whole thing. Anyway, she chased me around for a bit, we had a fight to the death, and, well, all that aggressive tension turned into… a date! I took her straight to this cute little park I'd had in mind, so I could give her back the leg I'd torn off. We've been together ever since.

**Melanie** : Sounds like you two are very close.

**Kelly** : I actually brought some of her with me tonight. This right here- that's one of her arms.

**Georgie** : Ooh, the claws are lovely.

**Kelly** : Aren't they just?

**Georgie** : Do you mind if I-

**Kelly** : No, go ahead.

**Georgie** : Mel, feel this, here.

**Melanie** : Oh, wow! It's so soft, but also, very sharp. Like a cat.

**Georgie** : Did you help her with that, or is that from the Hunt?

**Kelly** : That's all Hunt, yeah! All-natural. I'd be jealous if I wasn't so impressed. Caitlin's really something special, I tell you. I did do some work on a few of her packmates, though. That won them over right quick.

**Georgie** : Buddy system?

**Kelly** : Right, the more the better. I mean, obviously your mileage may vary if you're in with the Lonely. But you'd be surprised how much you have in common with the other crimes against nature out there. If a monster hunter and a great hulking monster like me can make it work, well, what does that say for the rest of us?

**Georgie** : Well, Kelly, you've been no monster to us. It was great to have you on the show.

**Kelly** : Thank you so much for having me. 

**Melanie** : We asked you where you were when all this started, now we get to ask you the question we named this whole segment after. Where are you now?

**Kelly** : Living my truth, really. I'm on the lookout for a sharp new jawline, and maybe my dog, and I'm doing my best to appreciate all the wonderful things I've got. Caitlin, if you're listening to this, I love you baby!

**Georgie** : If you're just tuning in, that was Kelly Green, an avatar of the Flesh here to give you all some advice about life and love. Next week, we're joined by Desmond, with some hot cooking tips straight from the Desolation. Join us to find out which monsters are safe to eat, and which ones are better not to bother with.

**Melanie** : Spoilers, it's not the ones you'd think.

**Georgie** : We're going to move on to our graveyard segment, two hours of smooth, unfiltered jazz. I've been Georgie-

**Melanie** : -and I'm Melanie.

**Georgie** : And, as always, be brave, and keep each other safe out there.


End file.
